White eagle scribings

I had a slight window this morning where I felt Connected, and an awareness of my own Truth. I let the dogs out and was putting the gate on the stairway to the yard, when some random thought brought the aliveness of the evergreens around me into sharp focus.

Whenever the colors in nature become clearly defined, I know I'm Connected. It's an inner sense of an outer Awareness. It's something I pay attention to, and to which I look forward.

Recently, with the Busting Loose work, I've had more of a sense of disconnection and un-reality. Things will suddenly feel like a movie set, that trees are merely props, for instance. This usually indicated to me that everything *isn't* real, but just a creation of my Consciousness.

Matrix is a bit the same way, standing in line at the bank or in the grocery aisle, I'll get a wave of energy and will wobble or lean backwards at bit. It's in indication that I'm 'in the Matrix' or have dropped down into that level of awareness. It's disconcerting because it doesn't feel grounded or balanced.

When I went to write this, someone's energy was in my space. It had been coming on for the last half hour or so. It's communication from one of the males in my life, either one of my sons or my husband. It's hard to focus, because male energy is a heavier vibration than my own and makes me feel like I want to cry. (They're perfectly happy in it. They could simply be wanting me to pick something up from the store)!

So this is what it's like navigating through the world on an energetic level.

I know I'm on the edge of a big breakthrough. I've had glimmers, previews of it.

Last week while watching a clip from What The Bleep on Journey To The Infinite, Amit Goswami said that atoms aren't really atoms but merely possibilities. That everything you see in front of you, including the camera was simply formed from your perception. It's a more sophisticated way to say that your Consciousness creates what you see. It's along the lines of the experiment with a electron projector (mentioned in Lynne McTaggert's The Field, and also Richard Bartlett's Matrix Energetics) where the video tape caught the electron behaving differently when the scientists were out of the room. Their expectations affected the behavior of the electrons.

So what we expect creates our reality.

I feel on the brink of busting loose. Things have become so bizarre recently anyway, that it has no where else to go but down the rabbit hole and out and through.

I wish there was a way that I could feel grounded and comfortable with this at the same time. So when reality shifts, it's like an 'oh, sure, I knew that was going to happen' feeling. No big deal. The Universe has permanently changed. It's Monday. Whatever.

So that when everyone else freaks out because of my changes, I won't be knocked sideways by them.

I need to eat something before my client calls for a Matrix Session. More on this later.